THE GORBALS: Birthday Part 2

I was hoping to continue eating well on my birthday at the newly opened top chef Ilan Hall’s Gorbals…but fate reminded me that I was celebrating my “odd” years. Now one can say that I am being harsh as it was opening night but time have passed, and it’s clear the reviews are not positive.

Gorbals is located in the Alexandria Hotel, which desperately needs a face-lift. The restaurant’s interior matched the hotel. I haven’t been to Gorbals recently as they had shut down a few weeks after its open but I hope they fixed the floor. As you enter the bar is the to right and in the back you can dine and watch the chef cook up your meal.



I was considering bringing a bottle of wine but soon realized that we should have brought our own glass as you can see in the photo…don’t know they know the girl needs to get her drink?

I hope they improved their wine selections.

They were already 86 on a few items on their menu…luckily they had their talk about Bacon-Wrapped Matzo Balls w/horseradish mayonnaise.


I love bacon. I love matzo balls, but the combination just fell flat—maybe because it’s just not kosher?

The Rarebit with chicken egg was another disappointment. Again it lacked flavor.

The most appetizing dish was the Sheppard's Pie in potato with egg.


Our tab came out to $50. Portions are small; so don’t expect to be full when you finish. Do yourself a favor and head over to Cole’s instead.

Address: 501 S Spring St, Los Angeles, CA 90013
Phone#: (213) 488-3408
Rating: 2 out of 5
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Wakasan

Disclaimer: I am allergic to crustacean, and I do not like eating food that has a slimy texture (i.e. oyster, clams, squid, eggplant, zucchini, etc.).

The gods were telling me something when I went on a Tuesday to find Wakasan closed; I should have seen the omen. I had wanted to go to Wakasan for months since they offer this amazing 12-course meal for $35!? It’s a bargain….but not when you have food allergies. Wakasan prepares the omakase meals in advance so there’s zero substitution. I was screwed given that 70% of the dishes were crustacean. The waiter wasn’t helpful at first as he wasn’t willing to recommend me of other non-crustacean dishes. I had to put words into his mouth, “Is the yellow-tail collar good?” Silence. “Yes,” as I nodded my head. The waiter slowly mimicked me… well, my friend has no food allergies, so she went for their omakase.

1.cold spinach salad
2. sesame tofu
3. cold seared mackerel
4. chilled king crab leg
5. tuna, red snapper, yellowtail sashimi with tofu
6. chicken teriyaki
7. fried calamari
8. clam miso soup
9. chawanmushi (shrimp based)
10. uni and salmon roe on rice
11. red bean ice cream
12. Assortment of sashimi: snapper, tuna and yellowtail.
13. Pork Katsu w/ Sauce

She shared her sashimi with me. I think she let me eat ‘em because they weren’t fresh –were very fishy. Do not come here for the sushi.

She also let me try the grilled teriyaki chicken with corn on the cob. The corn tasted better than the salmon.

I ordered grilled beef. It was chewy…and something was off about the dish…

The yellow-tail collar was the best item of the night. I preferred to eat the deep-fried bone part over the meat. My friend also thought that this was the best dish of the night.

My friend was disappointed with the omakase. It might be a steal paying $35 for 12 dishes, but not if the food is disgusting. My first and last dining experience at Wakasan.


Address: 1929 Westwood Blvd, LA, CA 90025
Phone#: (310) 446-5241
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DOLERES RESTAURANT & BAKERY

Dolores Restaurant & Bakery should be shut down or hire a new cooking staff!

One would think that if an establishment has been opened since 1944, it’s doing something right. Sadly I must report I had the worst chicken fried steak last Sunday.

It was completely inedible with the putrid brown-orange gravy and burnt bottom.

The manager asked me what was wrong with the chicken fried steak. Even though he didn’t sampled it, I figured it was obvious that it looked disgusting. He reassured me that it was fresh….fresh out of the toilet? I told him that I was comfortable paying for the chicken fried steak but I wanted a side of sausages instead.

The manager was kind to take off the chicken fried steak and charged me for the sausages; I still paid the difference in tips. I really wanted to like the joint for its 50s decor and history. Oh, therer's free wi-fi too.

The manager must have coached the waitress what to say because when dropping the bill, she reiterated that the “meat was fresh. Argh! I thought the customers are always right? Shessh! My first and my last visit.

Address: 11407 Santa Monica Blvd Los Angeles, CA 90025
Phone#: (310) 477-1061
Rating: 1 out of 5

COFFEE & CREAM

Coffee & Cream is a cute little ice cream parlor that lacks good ice cream.

There are some food that my taste buds can’t quite differentia like truffle oil vs. vegetable oil, MSG vs. no MSG, and then there’s ice cream vs. gelato. It was unclear if they were offering ice cream or gelato…as the sign read “ice cream/gelato….,” but I saw that they had my favorite flavor, coffee and knew I had to have it. Their flavor is “coffee cream” to be exact.

What a huge mistake! It was creamy like a gelato or creamy like an ice cream, but grainy and with each lick, the texture was inconsistent. I don’t think they were done mixing the ice cream….or was it gelato…? After 7 licks, I tossed the $2.85 1-scoop ice cream/gelato into the trash. Never coming here agan.

Address: 13739 Foothill Blvd Sylmar, CA 91342
Phone#: (818) 364-5303
Rating: 1 out of 5

II SOLE RESTAURANT

My boss must hate his wife...yes, that's really him at Il Sole...

He picked Il Sole, the overpriced, below average Italian restaurant to celebrate her birthday.

I made reservations in advance, and they seated us at the worst table in the restaurant, one of the two tops in the "lobby." I specifically noted that it was for my boss' wife's birthday. The hostess was trying to convince me that we got the best table in the restaurant. Are you kidding me?! Uh, yeah, I just love to sit at a table with a bunch of people standing behind me, accidently knocking my head as they wait for a table...furthermore, the espresso machine is in the same area, and OMG, every time the busboy made a drink, he yanked the...I don't know what it's called...but you have to refill it with coffee each time you make an espresso drink, causing it to SCREECH like nails clawing down on a chalk board...I just cringed through out the meal. Yeah...we got the best seat in the restaurant. Oh, there's an eating area to your right and to the left. The hostess said she couldn't seat us in the left dining area as they close the section down around 9:30pm...and that's why they seated a 5-person party (I think) at 9:40pm. Can we say LIARS!? If you really want bad, overpriced Italian food, to the right (if you're entering the restaurant) is the best seating area -the most space and light. We were practically eating in the dark.

Sigh. Let's move on to the food...I started off with the Burratta Di Pomodori; it's difficult to mess up a burrata salad.

Even though this was $20, it was the most reasonably priced (and good) item of the night as they were generous on the burrata portion. The bday girl ordered the Shaved Artichoke Salad for $16, and I'm so glad that I didn't ordered it. Bland.


There are two kinds of waiters. The first type is one who has sampled the food and really gets into the food and drinks that they serve. The second kind is one who's just there to make the bucks and doesn't give a damn about the food. I think our waiter was the latter, because when I asked him if I should go for the Dover, the lasagna or the prosciutto pasta dish, he asked me if I felt like having pasta or fish. I responded (again...), "What do you recommend?" He gave me a blank stare (no ounce of passion) and told me to go with the Dover, and when the bill came I knew why...it's $50! Even though the fish was supposedly imported from Italy, I didn't expect the Dover to be more than the Filet Mignon...I felt guilty for ordering it; the boss paid for it. Taste-wise, it's good but not worth $50.


The bday girl ordered the Penne Pomodoro for $21, and it tasted like shit.

They must have just opened a can of tomato paste and dumped it into the pasta. The pasta was cooked perfectly.

The boss ordered the Asparagus gnocchi for $26. It looked like 4 larvas.

Luckily it tasted better...but I've had better gnocchi.

Il Sole was kind enough to give the bday girl free Tiramisu, and thank goodness as the Chocolate Ganache sucked.

Their tiramisu was delicious!


I didn't try the Ravioli Aragosta

and the Coconut Sorbet ...

there 's just so much food I could eat!

My first and last time dining at Il Sole...glad I didn't pay for it...thanks boss!


Address: 8741 W Sunset Blvd West Hollywood, CA 90069
Phone#: (310) 657-1182
Rating: 1.5 out of 5

HAPPY ENDING

This place is not a happy ending.

Came here for a girlfriend's birthday and this place is a frat house and a cluster f**k on the weekends. You have a bunch of boys/men just standing around drinking beer; it's not my scene; it feels creepy. They serve fatty bar food. Upstairs is another crowded bar area.

I guess it's good for single ladies-- that's where the happy ending comes in...or not.

Once is enough for me --my happy ending.

Address: 7038 W Sunset Blvd Los Angeles, CA 90028
Phone#: (323) 469-7038
Rating: 1 out of 5

SAITO SUSHI

Saito's sushi is gad awful--the quality was poor, the cuts were sloppy, and the rice was soggy. I have absolutely no idea why Saito's Sushi is highly praised. They need to renovate the interior as well.

We ordered...

2 spicy tuna rolls (the grossest s.t.r. I've thus far --I stopped at 2 pieces)
1 eel avocado roll (edible)
1 japanese mackerel sushi (not fresh at all!)
1 albacore sushi (not fresh at all)
1 yellow tail roll (B had that)
edamame

Total was $50 (that's just crazy for bad sushi. Noshi Sushi would have been 1/2 the cost)

It was so bad I had to go next door to the Garage and grabbed a slice of pizza to wash the taste away.

Address: 4339 W Sunset Blvd Los Angeles, CA 90029
Phone#: (323) 663-8890
Rating: 1 out of 5

TITO'S TACOS

Last night was my first and last time eating at Tito's Tacos.

Tito's Tacos is one of th LA must eats place, where the line is a mile long. Are people on crack? I'm not looking for authentic Mexican food. I don't care if they only serve their "tacos" and burritos. I just want GOOD food. Tito's Tacos' meat was all dried and looked like dog food. It reminded like those tacos I had in elementary, except they had more flavor.

I rather eat Toxic Hell's tacos than Tito's Tacos.

1 star for their chips though.

**CASH ONLY

Address: 11222 Washington Pl Culver City, CA 90230
Phone#: (310) 391-5780
Rating: 1 out of 5

HI PIZZA ITALIAN KITCHEN

Hi Pizza is shitty.

B was working late last night, so I thought I would have a pizza waiting for him. Plus I was starving and couldn't wait on him. I was going to order from Crispy Crust, but then there were all these Korean pizza joints that I recently discovered. Most of the joints had closed already, so I was happy that Hi Pizza was still opened and more importantly, they delivered to my area.

The delivery time was accurate --the guy said it would take 30-40 minutes --I live probably a mile or two from Hi. Oh, they charge you an additional 99 cent if you pay by credit card.

When I opened the box, I was like "oye vey, that does not look good..." and I was right....



I'll start with the cheese; it was burnt and rubbery. Gross. I wouldn't say that Hi Pizza's has a "crispier crust," but it has a helluva chewier crust than other joints and slightly burnt.


Lastly, the toppings...I had ordered 1/2 mushroom and 1/2 pepperoni. As you can see...

...they skimped on the mushrooms, and they must have used the cheapest pepperonis.

Digiorno's, Pizza Hut's, Domino's and even Little Caesar's are better than Hi Pizza's.

Bye pizza.

Address: 119 S Western Ave Los Angeles, CA 90004
Phone#: (213) 380-5757
Rating: 1 out of 5

ABSOLUTELY PHOBULOUS

We had take-out the other day from Absolutely Phobulous, and when I opened my box, I was wondering if the the beef was dog meat.

Yummm...not.

I was craving Vietnamese food and A.P. was the closest restaurant. It got a lot of negative reviews but it was closest Vietnamese restaurant from my work. How hard is to mess up the food? Yeah...well, not too hard at A.P. I took a few bites of the beef vermicelli and just had to stop, but then again, I had their Royal Rolls (marinated pork sausuage sping rolls) and felt quesy afterwards. The eggroll was super oily --it just poured out at the end. I wasn't expecting it and now have oil stained on my jeans.

My boss ordered the Vietnamese Stir, and boy, it did not look appetizing at all (wished I took a picture of it)! He didn't touch his vegetarian vermicelli. However, another colleague enjoyed his Fresh Spring Rolls (shrimp & vermicelli) and his Chicken over Rice. If I had to order something from there, it would be the Chicken over Rice because it surprisingly looks edible. I took a few bites of the tomato rice that comes with the chicken and it was actually good.

Oh, Tila Tequila dines here often.

p.s. They don't deliver and accepts C.C. with $10 min charge.

Address: 350 N La Cienega Blvd Los Angeles, CA 90048
Phone#: (310) 360-3930
Rating: 1 out of 5

NICKY D'S WOOD-FIRED PIZZA

I had Nicky D's Pesto Bravo (sausage, roasted red pepper, goat cheese and roasted garlic) and it was pretty greasy and soggy... and omg, i love garlic but they put the entire clove on the pizza!! Each slice has 4-5 cloves....that's a little too much garlic for me--well at least I don't have to worry about vampires biting me. They should really try crushing the garlic...

Oh, don't get all excited and expect the crust to be special since it's "wood-fired pizza."

Address: 2764 Rowena Ave Los Angeles, CA 90039
Phone: (323) 664-3333
Rating: 2 out of 5

PHO VIET

If you're allergic to crustacean, don't come here.

I was craving some Goi Cuon, and was excited that Pho Viet was walking distance, but to my bad luck, they only offer it with shrimp. One would think that they can make it with beef since it is a restaurant...and then I asked if I can have the vermicelli with beef instead of shrimp and pork and guess what the answer was? NO! Maybe they only have a microwave in the back?

They suck. Thank goodness I can trust Pho Cafe; I just need to drive...

Address: 209 S. Vermont Ave Los Angeles, CA 90004
Phone: (213) 381-3300
Rating: 1 out of 5

Update: 3/16/09: R.I.P. - CLOSED

OVERLAND CAFE

I was hoping that TeeJay & Beth's reviews on O. C.'s Benedict were wrong, but unfortunately it's true...I ordered their eggs Benedict with chicken sausage, and their hollandaise sauce was bland --needed more lemon?? The chicken sausage looked weird --bit on the red side even though it was fully cooked, not spicy at all. I finished only half of my meal. It was disappointing to drive to the West side just for below average eggs Benedict.

B's eggs were runny. He asked for well-done, but then again, like some of the Yelpers pointed out that it's so freakin loud, the waitress missed his request. They should remodel their ceiling (the bar side) and install sound baffles.

Oh, and we waited 30 minutes for our food.

Come here if you want drunch, not brunch. You should finish 2 bottles of champagne before you eat.

Address: 3601 Overland Ave Los Angeles, CA 90034
Phone#: (310) 559-9999
Rating: 1 out of 5

EN SUSHI

I hate soggy sushi rolls. En Sushi's weren't mushy like Blowfish Sushi, but wet enough to make you wonder if they can't make the rice properly or if they were defrosting the fish...

We had the Tuna Fever roll (something was missing and the spicy tuna tasted like Korean sushi chefs' spicy tuna), Unagi & Avocado roll (i've had better), Albacore Jalapeno roll (wasn't spicy! jalapeno tasted like green pepper), mackeral sushi (uber fishy taste), and albacore sushi (best thing). Their green tea tempura ice cream was not bad either.

En Sushi chefs can definitely use a knife. I've never seen a tomato sliced so perfectly in my Cold Tofu dish.

Hmmm...looking at all the yelp reviews...only come here for happy hours so at least you won't feel so bad paying for soggy rolls or you won't feel the sogginess at all...

Address: 1972 Hillhurst Ave Los Angeles, CA 90027
Phone#: (323) 664-1891
Rating: 2.3 out of 5

MEXICO CITY

Mexico City is a slight upgrade version of the Acapulco Mexican Restaurants only because it's not a chain. I noticed that a few Yelpers love their Chicken Mole, so I decided to order it. This was my 2nd time having Chicken Mole, and that night, I realized I hate the Mole sauce. For those who never had Chicken Mole, I highly recommend you to sample the Mole sauce before ordering.

I understand that it's not Mexico City's fault that I hated my dish, but B ordered the Plato Mexica (chicken taco, chicken tostado, cheese enchailada and quesadilla with guacamole) and everything tasted like those Mexican food in the frozen section at the grocery store. Their guacamole was weak. Don't order their Sangria--even when it's just $3.95/glass. It's so NOT worth it. The waiter was kind enough for me to change my drink with no attitude --guess he had their Sangria too...

I will say that they make their drinks STRONG, and their chips are good although company thought they were too thick.

Oh, prepare to yell at your companion if the restaurant is full.

Address: 2121 Hillhurst Ave Los Angeles, CA 90027
Phone#: (323) 661-7227
Rating: 2 out of 5

SANDBAG'S GOURMET SANDWICHES

You know those days where you are starving and you're contemplating for hours because you want to pick the perfect lunch that will make your day, and when you finally do pick on something, it's disgusting and taste like dog shit? Well, today was one of those days.

With a title like "Sandbag's Gourmet Sandwiches", I was expecting them to have outstanding sandwiches. I ordered the Sundowner (breast of turkey, mayo, herb stuffing, lettuce, cranberries on a sub roll). I know, I know, shouldn't I have been afraid with "herb stuffing" on my sandwich? I love turkey stuffing on Thanksgiving. I love cranberries. I love turkey. What could go wrong? Everything. It was pretty gross --should've been called "the Downer." I didn't realized that the "breast of turkey" was a "breast of turkey" --notice it's single, so on enormous sub roll, I had solamenta uno slice. The herb stuffing looked and tasted like vomit. It would have been nice if the cranberries weren't canned cranberries....after all, it 'tis a gourmet sandwich shop...not.

Never again. The free burnt cookie didn't help at all.

Address: 6404 Wilshire Blvd Los Angeles, CA 90048
Phone#: (323) 655-4250
Rating: 1 out of 5

BAR PINTXO

1 star because Bar Pintxo have good wine.

What was supposed to be a "20 minute wait," turned into a 45 minute wait, and had the hostess said it was going to be a 45 min wait, I would have dined elsewhere. Now, that's not why I'm giving a poor rating; I don't believe in giving a restaurant a 1 star if I have to wait for ever (after all, if there are that many people waiting, the food must be good). I WILL give a 1 star when people who are AFTER me on the wait list are seated BEFORE me. 3 couples who were after me, were seated before me. WHAT THE HELL IS THE WAIT LIST FOR? When I was finally seated, the guy who signed up after me FINISHED his meal, and when I complained to the hostess, her explanation was that area was not really an eating area (which seemed like a total lie because a couple before me was there....). Don't you think I would rather be seated instead of waiting for 45 minutes? I mean there's no real good seating section (it's tiny, packed like sardines). Furthermore, the hostess was offering some people who have been waiting only a fraction of my waiting time. Hello? Where's my wine???

Enough about me ranting and raving about my horrible experience with the hostess; let's talk about the food now. In a nutshell, the food looks better than how it tastes...

Chorizo & fried quail eggs: It was served on cold BURNT toast...who eats charcoal? cold dish.
Esparragos blancos con romesco: don't order it. cold dish.
Crimini mushroom jamon & diced vegetables: 2nd best dish
Dates wrapped in bacon with cabrales cheese: This was the best item out of the 6 dishes, but bacon could have been crispier. cold dish.
Tortilla Espanola: It's more like a quiche. Very rich. actually a warm dish.
Croquetas de Pollo y Jamon: disappointing

I won't be coming back here.

Address: 109 Santa Monica Blvd Santa Monica, CA 90407
Phone#: (310) 458-2012
Rating: 1 out of 5

BELLANOTTE

My rating is only for Bellanotte's drinks and 2 words:

Uber-weak drinks!

Address: 600 Hennepin Ave S Minneapolis, MN 55403
Phone#: (612) 339-7200
Rating: 1 out of 5

EIKO

1 star for the nice people
0.5 star for the cheap prices
-3 stars (should be -5) because now I want to throw up after eating their spicy tuna roll and eel avocada roll.

I had their rolls before and was disgusted. I don't know what I was thinking, just lazy (closest sushi place to my work) and craving sushi and hoping the rolls weren't as bad as I recalled...there are two ways of eating sushi: 1) eat it w/out soy sauce & wasabi because the fish is so yummy and fresh 2) douse it with soy sauce & wasabi so you don't have to vomit your lunch back up. I forgot to douse it --not that's going to help much...gotta find some chocolate now to rid this taste. Oh, they serve Pad Thai there....

Address: 6357 Wilshire Boulevard Los Angeles, CA 90048
Phone#: (323) 655-8060
Rating: 1.5 out of 5

LAX

Just another Hollyweird pretentious b.s. place...

My first time at LAX tonight and granted if I was a guy I might have enjoyed the place more as there was a porn party that night. I had called earlier in the morning to check if there was any event that night as I wanted to avoid a dreaded line standing out in the cold. The girl who answered the phone said,"Um..no." She clearly didn't know of the event or she was a porn star herself and didn't want to scare off future clients.

I stood in line for a little more than 30 minutes; granted less time than the other yelpers who complained about the place, but I was cleared to go into the vendor for a birthday party, but STILL the big black man wanted me to wait for another 10 minutes....I hate pretentious places, seriously, don't you want to make some money? I am a drinker; I even took the subway to the place! I'm a responsible drinker!

Besides the ridiculous wait time, I find it odd that the first bartender charged me $12/ drink as opposed to the other bartender (in the smoking area) charged me $10/drink. for the same drink....hmm..I happened to be a very good tipper, and get really pissed off when things don't add up (hence, the 1 star).

This place plays the usual hip hop music...I stopped dancing when they played the Brittney Spears song," Gimme More.." as all I could think of is that parody that I saw a few months back, "Gimme S'more." But as song states, "Gimme More"......

Address: 1714 N Las Palmas Ave Los Angeles, CA 90028
Phone#: (323) 464-0171
Rating: 1 out of 5